


Better Off

by Deannie



Category: The Real Ghostbusters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 17:31:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1907706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deannie/pseuds/Deannie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s always been reckless. He took chances when no one else would, put his life on the line for anyone, anytime. It’s something we all learned to take for granted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Off

I didn’t know. 

I swear to God, I didn’t. Probably should have, but they say that hindsight is 20/20... 

God, I’m sorry I didn’t realize it before. If I had--if I’d explained the truth this might never have happened. 

He’s always been reckless. He took chances when no one else would, put his life on the line for anyone, anytime. It’s something we all learned to take for granted. 

It’s that damn apathy that got him killed. Well, that, and the fact that I’m way too clueless to keep my psych license. 

It should have been a routine bust. Dangerous, sure, but pretty routine, all in all. A class six, big, ugly, blue (and they always seem to be blue these days, don’t they?). It had the right kind of teeth and claws--okay, so there were only five of each, but they were just as sharp and nasty-looking as they should be. We fanned out, ranging across the basement floor as we tried to get the thing in our crossfire. 

It was fast. Evil. The usual. And, as usual, it was primarily after me. I suppose I should finally get Egon to run those tests--the ones he came up with to find out why I’m such a ghost magnet. 

Though I’m not sure it’s going to matter now, is it? 

It chased me around the room a few times before Winston got a bead on it. Egon followed, and I expected Ray to join in any time. Except that he didn’t. He saw something none of the rest of us saw. Damned observant kid when he had to be. 

The gooper had an out. Egon to its right, Winston to the left, me in front of those slobbering jaws. But Ray had been right next to me. He hadn’t been able to get into place. The thing ran out the back way before we could stop it. 

And Ray was just there. Barreling into me with the force of a freight train as Winston and Egon tried to deflect the ghost. It was a lost cause. I could see that in the second I had before it hit Ray. Hard. I swear I heard the bones crack. 

Anger is a beautiful thing--right along with grief. Gives you power. It gave me enough to throw out a stream and take that mother right in its ugly, misshapen face. Winston and Egon caught it with me, and we maneuvered it into the trap in an eerie silence. 

Then all we had left was goodbye. 

I didn’t want to move him, but Ray’s arms came up and around my stomach, and I just grabbed him to me, praying. God never did listen to me, did he? 

“Peter...” His voice was failing, blood collecting at the side of his mouth. “Couldn’t... I couldn’t let him... get you...” 

“Hang on, Ray,” I whispered, some part of my mind cataloging the 911 call Winston was making. “Just hang on. Please!” 

“Can’t... Peter...?” He looked up at me then. And I knew. In that one second, I knew why he always leapt in before me. Why he always seemed to be in the right place at the right time to save my worthless hide. What that damn gleam in his eyes had always been. “Love...” 

How melodramatic, huh? Like everything else in his life, Ray’s last word was love. Corny. Stupid. 

God, it was stupid! I didn’t think about it when we were young. Never figured it for anything more than hero worship. He seemed so happy for me and whatever babe (or guy) I had going each season; so sad when we broke up.... Jesus, the kid never said a _word_! And if he had...? 

I’m not delusional. He’d never have dealt well with the reality of me. Of me and him. I’d’ve ended up pulling some stupid stunt that would have ended it all: the relationship, our friendship. Everything. 

Brushing the snow off his gravestone, I sigh. It’s cold again. Bitter winter winds that sweep along the ground and run up the inside of your jacket to freeze you solid.... 

You’re better off never having known, Ray. Better you _thought_ I was someone you could love, instead of finding out I’m not worth the time. 

But I loved you, too, pal. Not the way you wanted, but the way you _needed_. 

And I miss you. A lot. 

When I get there, could you see your way clear to letting me into Heaven by the back door? Because, whatever you thought of me, after losing you, God's never going to let me in the easy way. 

* * *  
The End


End file.
